Home birth with everyone around me that I love

Part 1 -the preparation phase

New Year’s Eve we crawl into bed very early, a little later I notice some contractions. I joked a few days ago “it would be something, giving birth during the fireworks”. But 12 hours I don’t make it this time, I just fall asleep.

To wake up after the first bangs of the fireworks, I get up to watch the fireworks and meanwhile I quietly catch the contractions. Would it really be a New Year’s Day baby? A whole night of contractions continue, but very manageable just not a moment of sleep.

Unfortunately in the morning the contractions fall silent. Fortunately, I am able to catch up on some sleep that day.

And so New Year’s Day goes by, that evening I have contractions again, much more intense than the night before… Would they go through now after all?

Smorning I get up and notice that I slept a whole night, which is good because I would need that energy for later…..

That morning I also send a message to Ambre, to let her know how I am feeling…. Because I have to be honest, sometimes the thoughts take over and I panic a little and lose confidence. But that’s why I have an independent midwife, and thanks to her words I can see it all over again.

Peace falls back over me and I am confident again.

That day my mom will join us, for such a toddler and 40weeks pregnant. Yes that can count for something anyway.

That night we also just do our evening ritual again, which is a little more difficult. Mom gets contractions again and Perre already a tantrum, after an hour Perre falls asleep anyway.

I decide to get some sleep too because you never know it’s for real for once. That evening Kathleen sends another message to ask how things are still going in the meantime. At this point I am having more intense contractions again, but they are still well under control.

We steer some more because again I get panic “it will be the same again as at Perre”. But Kathleen also finds the words that make me feel confident again.

Part 2; the delivery

Around midnight I start having much more intense contractions; Kathleen suggests I come over anyway.

I call the midwife, who advises to still seek some rest and possibly take a bath to see if the contractions still persist.

Half an hour later, Kathleen arrived. -00:27-.

We decide to rest some more, I crawl into bed some more and Kathleen stays downstairs in the couch.

Less than half an hour later, Perre wakes up to drink milk. During the contractions I give Perre milk and he falls back asleep.

Still, I feel the contractions intensifying and decide to go back downstairs. I suggest to Ben that he lie down some more so that he also has enough rest. After an hour or so, Ben also comes back downstairs and I suggest that we get the birthing pool ready anyway because it might go quickly.

Around 2:36 the contractions come every 3min, we decide to call the midwife again and she suggests sending someone anyway. At 3:30 Ambre arrives, which I am very happy about because I wanted her so badly!

She takes a look at how things are going and gives some tips on how to handle the contractions.

Ambre secluded herself a bit and did her thing, while I also just continued to handle the contractions.

Kathleen suggested hanging the rebozo on the stairs so I could hang myself during a contraction, and oh how this helped!

Around 7 o’clock Perre wakes up, having just stayed asleep all this time. Together with Daddy he comes downstairs bit overwhelmed. Kathleen calls Mom so she can take care of Perre, around 7:30 Mom arrives.

At that point I do have very intense contractions. My body signals to call out, no matter what I do. Ambre’s tip here was to roar low and not high, and yes that roar felt tremendously right.

Perre also helped me between contractions because he was in the mood for milk. Thanks to that moment, we were back a long way

After x number of hours, Ambre suggests that we should still check our progress. She would not say how many cm but that way she could assess the situation a little herself.

-at that time I was only at 4 cm dilation-

My mind already takes over again and I panic a little, how long would it take and why is it already taking so long.

Ambre noticed the panic and suggested we go to the hospital, since we still had all the time now….

Thinking no longer works so well, many emotions are released because I knew myself this has been going on too long. But I can’t make the decision to go to the hospital, I don’t say anything at all.

Deep inside, I think -at this moment I really can’t make a transfer to the hospital. – Ambre suggested getting out of the bath and from then on she pulled out all the stops to give the delivery some progress after all.

We did so much, from hanging on Ben, roaring, lying back on the seat, peanut ball between legs….

We crawl back into the bathtub and there I begin to have -think- push contractions but again don’t know what position to take or what to do.

Ambre checks the dilation once more, at which point I use the words “I can’t take any more.” Ambre already knows the right words again “you know when you say this you are almost there” This gives with again some strength to continue, because now we are really almost there. Still not progressing in the bath, we decide to get out and get back in the seat on our hands and knees.

At that moment I feel tremendous urge to push.

The pushing seems to take forever until Ambre says “there she is.”

At that moment I had been waiting so much, but I was ffe completely away in my bubble and didn’t realize at all that our little girl was being taken care of by her very sweetest daddy.

Until I could take her on, it had to sink in. There she was at last!

‘Tis “Tille” I said to Mom.

And what a road that was again, but still so grateful for the road we traveled and this with the right people around me.

After birth

There she was at last!

Only I didn’t quite get it; it felt like she still had a long way to go.

But then Ambre helped me take hold of her; the first meeting was very blurry for me. I was also in tremendous pain, it felt like I still had to push, that pressure on my pelvis persisted. I was a little panicked.

Because everyone tells you “once the pushing is over it’s farewell that pain”.

This didn’t feel like that at all, but I had to get through it.

Silently the realization dawned, she’s here!

We just did this here!

Then came the realization “the placenta still has to come out.” “Is that going to be that intense too I asked Ambre?”. “Do you want him to come off already?”

“Uh yeah he has to come out anyway…”.

I tried to lie/sit in a different position which was enormously difficult. Everything felt very painful and Tille was still hanging on to the umbilical cord …

Once I lay back down, there was suddenly the placenta, no effort at all.

As with Perre, it was all white again, so it was immediately clamped off.

Then the moment to cut the umbilical cord…. Ben had gone to put Perre to bed and just as with Perre’s birth, I knew he didn’t want to cut the umbilical cord, so who did?

I asked my mom, who immediately agreed.

Then they quietly took care of me and Tille, it was so cozy! The midwives took their time with everything and Tille did a great job.

She immediately drank very well at the breast as if she had never done anything else.

I am already looking very positively at childbirth, and this is only possible by choosing the right birth team.

I cannot say enough how grateful I am to them, everyone should have an Ambre at their delivery.

And the images thanks to Kathleen that help fill the black holes and the lasting beautiful memories.

So proud, but especially we women can do this! Every delivery goes differently but every delivery is always with so much power!

Youandi.dz [instagram: photographer + doula]