A home birth with everyone I love around me
Part 1—The Preparation Phase
On New Year’s Eve, we went to bed very early, and a little later I noticed a few contractions. A few days ago, I had joked, “It would be something, giving birth during the fireworks.” But this time, I didn’t make it to midnight—I just fell asleep.
I woke up to the first fireworks going off. I got up to watch the fireworks, and in the meantime, I calmly dealt with the contractions. Could this really be a New Year’s baby? The contractions continued all night, but they were quite manageable—I just didn’t get a single moment of sleep.
Unfortunately, the contractions stopped this morning. Luckily, I was able to catch up on some sleep that day.
And so New Year’s Day comes and goes; that evening, the contractions start again, much more intense than the night before… Could they be the real thing this time?
In the morning, I wake up and realize I slept through the whole night, which is good because I’m going to need that energy later…
That morning, I also sent Ambre a quick message to let her know how things were going and how I was feeling… Because I have to be honest, my thoughts sometimes got the better of me, causing me to panic a little and lose confidence. But that’s why you have an independent midwife—thanks to her words, I’m feeling completely confident again.
A sense of calm comes over me, and I have complete confidence in it once again.
My mom is coming to join us that day—after all, with a toddler and being 40 weeks pregnant, that’s quite a lot to handle.
That evening, we went through our usual bedtime routine, which was a little more difficult than usual. Mom started having contractions again, and Perre had another tantrum, but after an hour, Perre finally fell asleep.
I decide to get some sleep too, because you never know—this might actually be it. That evening, Kathleen sends another message to ask how things are going. At that moment, I’m having some stronger contractions again, but I’m still able to manage them on my own.
We keep going a little further because once again I start to panic—“It’ll be the same as it was with Perre.” But Kathleen also finds the right words to restore my full confidence.
Part 2: Birth
Around midnight, my contractions get much stronger, so Kathleen suggests coming over after all.
I’ll call the midwife, who suggests I try to get some rest and maybe take a bath to see if the contractions keep up.
Kathleen arrives half an hour later. -00:27-.
We decide to rest a little longer; I crawl back into bed, and Kathleen stays downstairs on the couch.
Less than half an hour later, Perre wakes up to drink some milk. Between contractions, I give Perre some milk, and he falls back asleep.
I can feel the contractions getting stronger, so I decide to go back downstairs. I suggest to Ben that he stay in bed a little longer so he can get some rest, too. After about an hour, Ben comes back downstairs too, and I suggest we go ahead and get the birthing tub ready because things might move quickly.
Around 2:36 a.m., the contractions were coming every 3 minutes, so we decided to call the midwife again, and she suggested sending someone over after all. Ambre arrived at 3:30 a.m., which made me very happy because I really wanted her to be there!
She checks in to see how things are going and offers a few tips for managing the contractions; after a while, the contractions subside.
Ambre goes off on her own and does her thing, while I just keep dealing with the contractions.
Kathleen suggested hanging the rebozo on the stairs so I could lean on it during a contraction—and oh my, did that help!
Around 7:00 a.m., Perre wakes up; he’d been sleeping soundly the whole time. He comes downstairs with Dad, looking a little overwhelmed. Kathleen calls Mom so she can take care of Perre; Mom arrives around 7:30 a.m.
At that moment, I was definitely having very intense contractions. My body was telling me to scream, which is exactly what I did. Ambre had suggested that I roar in a low voice rather than a high one, and yes, that roaring felt really good.
Perre also helped me between contractions, because he was in the mood for some milk. Thanks to that little moment, we were another big step further along
After x hours, Ambre suggested we check to see how far along we were. She didn’t want to say exactly how many centimeters, but this way she could get a rough idea of the situation herself.
-At that point, I was only 4 cm dilated-
My rational mind is taking over again, and I’m starting to panic a little—how much longer will it take, and why is it taking so long again?
Ambre noticed the panic and suggested we go to the hospital, since we still had plenty of time…
I can’t think straight anymore; a lot of emotions are coming to the surface because I knew deep down that this has been going on for far too long. But I can’t bring myself to decide to go to the hospital; I don’t say a word.
Deep down, I think—right now, I really can’t make the transfer to the hospital. —Ambre suggests getting out of the tub, and from that point on, she’s done everything she can to help the labor progress a bit.
We’ve done so much—from hanging onto Ben, roaring, lying back on the couch, with a peanut ball between our legs…
We get back in the tub, and that’s when I think I start having contractions, but once again I don’t know what position to get into or what to do.
Ambre checks my dilation again, and at that moment I say, “I can’t do this anymore.” Ambre knows just what to say: “You know that when you say that, you’re almost there.” This gives me the strength to keep going, because now we’re really almost there. Still, things aren’t progressing in the tub, so we decide to get out and go back to the couch to get on my hands and knees.
At that moment, I feel an overwhelming urge to push.
The pushing seems to go on forever until Ambre says, “There she is.”
I had been waiting for that moment for so long, but I was completely lost in my own little world and didn’t realize at all that our little girl was being taken care of by her dearest dad.
It took me a moment to realize I could finally take her in. There she was at last!
“It’s ‘Tille,'” I told Mom.
And what a journey that was—but I’m so grateful for the path we’ve taken, especially with the right people by my side.
After the birth
There she was at last!
But I didn’t quite get it; it felt like she still had a long way to go.
But then Ambre helped me hold her; that first moment was very hazy for me. I was also in a lot of pain—it felt like I still had to push, and that pressure on my pelvis just wouldn’t go away. I was panicking a little.
Because everyone tells you, “Once you start pushing, the pain is over.”
It didn’t feel like that at all, but I had to push through it.
Slowly but surely, it dawned on me: she’s here!
We just did this right here!
Then it hit me: “The placenta still has to come out.” “Will that be just as intense?” I asked Ambre. “Do you already want it to come out?”
“Uh, yeah, it has to come out anyway…”
I tried to change my position—lying down or sitting up—which was incredibly difficult. Everything felt very painful, and Tille was still attached to the umbilical cord…
As soon as I lay back down, the placenta was suddenly there—it didn’t take any effort at all.
Just like with Perre, he was completely white again, so he was immediately pinned down.
Then it was time to cut the umbilical cord… Ben had gone to put Perre to bed, and just like when Perre was born, I knew he didn’t want to cut the umbilical cord—so who would?
I asked my mom, and she agreed right away.
After that, they made sure Tille and I were comfortable—it was so cozy! The midwives took their time with everything, and Tille did a great job.
She started nursing right away, as if she’d never done anything else.
I’m already feeling very positive about the birth, and that’s only possible because I chose the right birth team.
I can’t express enough how grateful I am to them; everyone should have an Ambre by their side during birth.
And the photos—thanks to Kathleen—that help fill in the gaps and preserve those beautiful memories.
So proud—but above all, we women can do this! Every birth is different, but every birth is always so powerful!
Youandi.dz [Instagram: photographer + doula]